What to Expect on the Journey to Parenthood

If you’re exploring surrogacy as a way to grow your family, you’ve probably noticed that there are different types of surrogacy, and it’s not always easy to understand the nuances between them. The most common and legally straightforward option today is gestational surrogacy. Whether you’re facing a medical condition that prohibits you from safely carrying a pregnancy, are part of a same-sex couple, or are a single parent-to-be, understanding the gestational surrogacy process can help set realistic expectations and ease some of the overwhelm.

In this post, I’ll walk you through what the gestational surrogacy process is, how it works from start to finish, and why many intended parents are choosing this route to parenthood.

What Is the Gestational Surrogacy Process

The gestational surrogacy process involves a gestational carrier: a woman who agrees to carry a child for someone else but has no genetic connection to the baby. Instead, the embryo is created using in vitro fertilization (IVF) with either the intended mother’s egg, a donor egg, and intended father’s sperm or donor sperm.

This is different from traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate uses her own egg and is the biological mother of the child. Gestational surrogacy provides a clearer path from legal, medical, and emotional perspectives, which is why it’s now the more widely chosen option.

How Does Gestational Surrogacy Work

The surrogacy process is a thoughtfully structured journey made up of several key phases. Here’s a step-by-step overview:

1. Finding a Surrogate

Most intended parents begin by partnering with a surrogacy agency that handles the complex logistics of finding a surrogate. The agency will pre-screen gestational carriers to ensure they meet strict health, emotional, and legal criteria. You’ll be matched with someone who aligns with your values and preferences.

2. Medical Screening and Preparation

The gestational surrogate undergoes extensive medical and psychological evaluations, including bloodwork, uterine health exams, and mental health screenings. This step ensures she is physically and emotionally ready for the journey.

3. Legal Contracts

Next, both parties will work with separate attorneys experienced in reproductive law to create and review legal contracts. These documents cover everything from financial terms to expectations around communication and delivery preferences. Legal fees are an essential part of ensuring protections for all sides.

4. IVF and Embryo Transfer

Meanwhile, if the intended mother is contributing her eggs, she’ll undergo fertility treatment including hormone stimulation and egg retrieval. The eggs are then fertilized with the intended father’s sperm (or donor sperm), and the best embryo is selected for embryo transfer into the gestational carrier’s uterus.

5. Pregnancy and Support

Once pregnancy is confirmed, regular medical care and emotional communication begin. Many intended parents provide emotional support to their carrier during this time, often facilitated by the agency or independent case manager.

6. Baby is Born

When the baby is born, hospital protocols will be followed to ensure the intended parents are present and named on the birth certificate according to the pre-birth or post-birth legal agreements.

What’s the Difference Between a Surrogate and a Gestational Carrier

This is one of the most common sources of confusion in the surrogacy process. Here's a quick breakdown:

A surrogate (in traditional surrogacy) uses her own egg and carries the pregnancy. She is genetically related to the baby.
A gestational carrier (in gestational surrogacy) carries an embryo created from someone else’s egg and sperm and has no genetic link to the child.

While the terms are sometimes used interchangeably in everyday conversation, the legal and medical differences are significant - especially for intended parents who want to avoid potential complications related to parentage and custody.

How Long Does Gestational Surrogacy Take

The timeline for gestational surrogacy typically ranges from 15 to 24 months. Here’s a general breakdown of what to expect (or click here for a more in-depth explanation).

Finding a surrogate: 1 to 12 months
Legal contracts and clearances: 1 to 3 months
Medical protocols and IVF cycle: 1 to 3 months
Pregnancy: 9 months
Post-birth legal finalization (if required): Varies

Factors like donor selection, medical delays, and scheduling can affect this timeline. Working with an experienced surrogacy agency can help reduce uncertainty and keep everything on track.

Why Choose Gestational Surrogacy for Intended Parents

There are many reasons why people choose gestational surrogacy. Here are some of the most meaningful:

1. Genetic Link to the Child

Gestational surrogacy allows many intended parents to use their own egg and sperm, providing a genetic connection to their child.

2. A Solution to Medical Challenges

If you or your partner face a medical condition that makes pregnancy unsafe or impossible, surrogacy provides a safe, viable alternative.

3. Legal Clarity

Unlike traditional surrogacy, where the surrogate is also the biological mother, gestational surrogacy offers clearer legal guidelines that support parental rights from the start.

4. Inclusive Family Building

Surrogacy is an incredible option for same-sex couples, single men or women, and families built through egg or sperm donation. A woman who agrees to carry can help others experience the joy of parenthood, regardless of family structure.

5. Controlled and Safe Medical Process

Through IVF, embryos can be screened for quality and genetic health, and the embryo transfer is timed precisely to increase success rates.

6. Emotional and Logistical Support

With the help of a surrogacy agency, both the intended parents and the gestational carrier have access to resources, structure, and ongoing emotional support throughout the journey.

Gestational surrogacy is a deeply personal and often emotional journey—but it’s also one filled with hope, collaboration, and the possibility of becoming a parent. Whether you're still deciding if surrogacy is the right choice or already talking to a surrogacy agency, having a clear understanding of the gestational surrogacy process helps build confidence and reduce overwhelm.

To learn more about the broader picture, you may also want to read: what are the pros and cons of surrogacy.

If you have questions, need guidance, or are looking for someone to walk this path with you—I’m here. Slide into my emails for a consult!

Gestational Surrogacy Process