Starting a family is one of life’s most meaningful goals, but for many individuals and couples, the road to parenthood can be paved with emotional and medical challenges. Fortunately, modern fertility innovations have opened new pathways to building a family. Two of the most commonly used methods are IVF (in vitro fertilization) and surrogacy.

However, despite how frequently they're mentioned in conversations around fertility treatment, IVF and surrogacy are often confused or conflated. They are, in fact, very different processes with unique medical, legal, and emotional implications. In today’s post, we’ll explore the difference between IVF and surrogacy, demystify how each one works, and help you understand which path might be right for you or someone you love.

What Is The Difference Between IVF And Surrogacy?

While IVF and surrogacy are both fertility solutions, they serve very different functions in the family-building process. IVF is a process overseen by a physician and includes a medical procedure that helps create an embryo using eggs and sperm either from the intended parents or from a donor egg or sperm donor which is then implanted in a uterus. Surrogacy, on the other hand, involves another person (a surrogate mother) carrying and delivering the baby for the intended parents.

It’s important to know the difference between IVF and surrogacy because while they are often used together, not everyone who does IVF uses a surrogate, and not all surrogacy journeys require the same fertility treatments. Understanding their distinctions allows intended parents to make informed decisions about their fertility treatment options and what’s medically or emotionally right for them.

What Is IVF Treatment?

IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) is one of the most common and successful types of fertility treatment. It involves a procedure to retrieve eggs from a woman’s body, and fertilizing the eggs with sperm outside of the body, in a lab. Once fertilization is successful and an embryo develops, it is then transferred to the uterus in hopes of achieving a pregnancy.

IVF can use the intended parents’ own reproductive material or involve a donor egg and/or sperm donor, depending on the medical needs of the individual or couple.

How Does IVF Work?

1. Ovarian Stimulation

The intended mother or egg donor is given hormone injections to stimulate the ovaries to produce multiple mature eggs. Monitoring through ultrasounds and bloodwork helps time the next steps precisely.

2. Egg Retrieval

Once the eggs are ready, they are surgically retrieved from the ovaries in a short outpatient procedure performed under light sedation.

3. Fertilization

The retrieved eggs and sperm (from the intended father or a sperm donor) are combined in a lab through in vitro fertilization, allowing embryos to begin developing.

4. Embryo Culture

The fertilized eggs (now embryos) are monitored in a lab for several days as they grow, typically to the blastocyst stage (Day 5–6).

5. Embryo Freezing and PGT Testing

At this stage, most embryos are frozen (cryopreserved) rather than transferred fresh. Freezing gives the body time to recover and allows for comprehensive testing of the embryos. PGT (Preimplantation Genetic Testing) may be performed to check embryos for chromosomal abnormalities or genetic conditions, helping improve the success rate of future transfers.

6. Embryo Transfer

A healthy, tested embryo is thawed and transferred to the uterus—either to the intended mother or to a surrogate mother, depending on the family-building path. This is done during a carefully timed transfer cycle to support implantation.

7. Pregnancy Test

About 10–14 days after the transfer, a blood test checks for pregnancy.

How Long Does IVF Take?

A single IVF cycle typically takes 4–6 weeks, starting from ovarian stimulation to embryo transfer. However, multiple cycles are sometimes necessary. Delays can occur due to hormonal response, availability of donor eggs or sperm donors, or medical complications.

Who Is IVF For?

IVF can be a strong option for:

Individuals with a medical condition impacting fertility
Couples with unexplained infertility
Women with blocked fallopian tubes or endometriosis
Men with low sperm count or motility
Same-sex couples or single individuals using donor eggs or sperm donors
Intended parents planning to work with a surrogate mother

What Is Surrogacy?

Surrogacy is a method of family building where a woman (the surrogate mother) agrees to carry a child for someone else. It can be a path to parenthood for individuals who cannot safely or medically carry a pregnancy themselves. There are two types of surrogacy:

Traditional Surrogacy: The surrogate uses her own egg, making her genetically related to the child.
Gestational Surrogacy: The embryo is created via IVF treatment using the intended parents’ or donors’ eggs and sperm, and the surrogate has no genetic link to the baby. This is the more common and legally preferred method today.

How Does Surrogacy Work?

1. Searching For And Matching With A Surrogate

Intended parents are matched with a surrogate mother (often via a surrogacy agency or concierge service).

2. Medical and Psychological Screening Process

Before anyone gets pregnant with anyone’s baby, everyone involved goes through comprehensive medical, psychological, and background screening, following ASRM guidelines to ensure they're physically and emotionally ready for the journey. It’s all about creating a safe, healthy, and well-supported foundation for what lies ahead.

3. Legal Contracts

Surrogacy requires detailed legal agreements outlining roles, responsibilities, and parental rights for all parties.

4. IVF and Embryo Transfer

An embryo is created through in vitro fertilization and transferred to the surrogate’s uterus.

5. Pregnancy

The surrogate receives prenatal care throughout the pregnancy while the intended parents remain involved and supportive.

6. Delivery and Legal Transfer

The surrogate delivers the baby, and legal parentage is transferred to the intended parents according to the contract and local laws.

How Long Does The Surrogacy Process Take?

The full surrogacy process can take 15–24 months on average. This includes:

Screening and matching with a surrogate
Medical and legal processes
Embryo creation and transfer
A 9-month pregnancy

Delays can arise due to medical complications, unsuccessful embryo transfers, legal logistics, or challenges finding a suitable match.

Who Is Eligible For Surrogacy As Intended Parents?

Surrogacy may be the right choice for:

Individuals with a medical condition that makes pregnancy unsafe
Same-sex male couples
Single men or women
Intended mothers without a uterus or with uterine abnormalities
Couples with repeated failed IVF cycles
Those who want to become parents but cannot carry a child

Both IVF and surrogacy are powerful tools that can help people achieve their dream of becoming parents. IVF is a fertility treatment that helps create embryos, while surrogacy is a family-building method in which someone else carries and delivers the baby for you. They often go hand-in-hand, especially in cases of gestational surrogacy, where IVF treatment is used to create an embryo that is transferred to the surrogate.

Still trying to decide if surrogacy is right for you? Be sure to read my post on what are the pros and cons of surrogacy to better understand what the process entails.

Every path to parenthood is unique. Whether you pursue IVF, surrogacy, or both, it’s important to work with trusted fertility clinics, legal professionals, and support networks to guide you through the journey. The right team can help you navigate the emotional, legal, and medical complexities and move closer to welcoming your long-awaited child.

What Is The Difference Between IVF and Surrogacy?